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Letterman’s Top 10 Reasons Why There Won’t Be a Filipino US President

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I got this info from an e-mail from one of my friends and this has been going around for quite some time. I’m not sure who the real author is so I don’t know who to give credit to.

David Letterman has a late night show on CBS station  here in the United States and he is very popular for providing the “Top Ten Reasons…”

Even though it says “By David Letterman” on the title, I think most of us can say that this was not his own creation but more of a Filipino.  It is so detailed and deep that pretty much this is considered as an “inside joke” for Filipinos for which non-Filipinos may not get.

Below is the Top 10 List Why There Won’t Be a Filipino US President

10. The White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White House!!

8. Dignitaries are generally intimidated by eating with their fingers at State dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in the White House – where will they put the Last Supper picture?

6. The White House walls is not big enough to hold a giant wooden spoon and fork set.

5. Secret Service staff won’t respond to “pssst…pssst”.

4. Secret Service staff are uncomfortable driving the Presidential car with a Holy Rosary hanging on the rear view mirror or having the statue of the Santo Nino on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase karaoke machines for every White House room.

2. State dinners do not allow “Take Home.”

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE COULDN’T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN US PRESIDENT IS….

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight Balikbayan boxes!

I found this really funny since as a Filipino, I can really relate. However, there are some Pinoys out there that found this a little racist. So what do you think? Please voice your opinion in our comment section.

Comments

  1. Mr. Letterman, do you really know what you’re talking about?! this is a joke for you but not for the Filipinos in general. we may not be as popular as your country is. but YOU HAVE NOT RIGHT TO INSULT US!

    • KRG! You don’t have a sense of humor cguro tiga-bundok ka or your highest level of education is grade 1…
      pasang-awa pa…kc kamag anak mo ang teacher mo! get a life…its a joke! now go home and pray the rosary!

      • Just let Nitesoul speak his mind!!! Frankly, I don’t think it’s funny either. I see the humor….and I get it. Although, I wouldn’t be offended by it also. It means nothing to me. It’s just funny that a lot of people are throwing ‘nitesoul’ under the bus for having a different opinion. Well, to those who think that this bit is really funny, let me ask you this: What if they wrote down,…as the no.1 reason on why a fil-am couldn’t be a president of US:…and it has something to do with a pet dog and a stove( you know where I’m going with this). Would you still think it’s a funny bit? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well, why can’t you guys understand that perhaps Nitesoul sees it that way? …and why are some of you embarrassed?…bec. he reacted?

    • hey nitesoul, this is humor. every country, every nationality can be subjected to this, no need to feel insulted. and please, correct your grammar. what a shame.

    • In America you have the right to insult. Just because your ass is to tight for a joke doesnt mean everyone’s ass is that tight. I guess we should go around asking “hey do you wanna hear an insult”

      • you are absolutely correct!!! its a joke and we filipinos should take it in a good and sport way 🙂 chillax its funny and if you really think it is true!!! specially the take home and balikbayan boxes and the extended family… and rosary or sto. nino… ask david lettermen for sure the one who did this top 10 is a filipino 🙂 bec he/she really knows what he/she’s saying…. its so trueeee 🙂 and funny :)…. i am a filipino… do not be sensitive just take this joke as a joke 🙂

    • wow, Nitesoul, you’re popular now. you are a true Filipino, why? because you reacted the way a typical Filipino like you, and there is nothing wrong with that. Most Filipinos think they are smart because they lambasted you with their “americanized” comments. but for me, you’re just speaking your mind. period, and i admire you because you did not fear what other might say about your comment. those who are angry because you have spoken your mind, are people who can not stand with people speaking their mind. Nitesoul, you are a nationalistic and patriotic Filipino citizen, full of pride, willing to face the “battle” of humiliation because of your comment. AGAIN, you are just speaking your mind. Never mind those insecure creatures trying to outshine your moment. HEHEHEHEHEHE. well that’s life. everyone has their own style to let the world feel their presence. PEACE TO ALL. DEMOCRACY LOVING PEOPLE.

    • as it was said this is not created by David Letterman our fellow Filipino (whoever he/she is) made this joke how could he knows about the big wood spoon and fork…A JOKE that attacks our leaders….the cars the SUV…

    • @nitesoul , ayusin mo kase grammar mo kaya nalalait ang mga Pilipino eh!

      ( Mr. Letterman, do you really know what you’re talking about?! this is a joke for you but not for the Filipinos in general. we may not be as popular as your country is. but YOU HAVE NOT RIGHT TO INSULT US! ) dapat you have no right to insult us. na capitalized mo pa mali naman.

    • don’t take it the jokes personally dude…i bet you even make fun of other people and yet you feel offended by this? do you know what that makes you? a hypocrite…yes a hypocrite.

    • Its not insulting, people always make fun of Indians and their accents, Chinese eating snakes/dogs, Americans being bigots—this top 10 does reflect our Filipino culture…I was even proud that they were sensitive enough not to include mail ordered brides or TNTs. Good Job Dave! =)

    • I do not think it was ever created for the letterman show because how could it be relatable to any of his guests e.g. Schneider? Manillo? Most likely not!

    • This Top Ten list is bull shit. I don’t like it. It is an insult to Filipinos. I have worked with Filipinos for many years in Asia and the US and have admired their ability to always carry a positive attitude even though they are being treated like shit. To the Filipinos…As an American I am embarrassed by this top ten list and truly apologize for it. I think that your are victims of corruption and unfortunately your good nature but I love your dedication you have to your families and your friends. Do not tolerate this kind of stupidity because you do not deserve it. Every Filipino should write David Letterman and (CBS) to tell them what a piece of crap he really is.

  2. Nitesoul, you must be mistaken. A joke like this is clearly coming from a Filipino not by David Letterman. The joke is so esoteric that only a Filipino can come up with something like this. He’s only being used because of his popular “Top Ten List.”

  6. Well, as a Filipino I know that a very large percentage of Filipinos really do have these traits — whether or not David Letterman said it, the fact remains that it’s what most Filipinos do. Of course, it should be made clear, however, that not all are like this. I do agree that it looks like it was written by a Filipino — most Americans wouldn’t understand the humor unless they know Filipinos or have been in the Philippines.

  7. why is it that pinoys are always cranky? something said about them, they get easily insulted. if no one talks about them, they feel unappreciated.
    are pinoys all girls?

  8. haha cmon have a sense of humor. im pinoy and this is funny to me. dont be like “oh well you probably grew up here in the US and you really dont know anything about us flips.” nah, mali ka tsong, laking pinas ako. (nah you’re wrong dude, i grew up in philippines)

    in addition, he probably wouldnt know our traits if he isnt associated with a filipino.

    cmon, laught it out… i know flips like to tell racist jokes too. i gotta admit, racist jokes are fun.

  10. yah…
    guys, take it easy.
    it was very funny and truly a part of our culture.

    you might even add:

    number 11: the white house will require an enormous about of plastic cover to wrap all the chairs and furniture.

    so don’t worry about it. this is not “a fake” [sic] and i’m proud we made it to the david letterman top 10 segment. just proves how rich a culture we pinoys have. 🙂

  11. yeah dont be cranky..its just a joke and its funny! As if Filipinos dont make fun of other race / nationalities..common fellow Pinoys..dont be such a saint!

  12. lolz! some of you makes me laugh. where’s your sense of humor?im a pure bred Pinoy and I think this has to be one of the funniest I’ve seen. It actually makes me proud to see something like this get aired in national tv,or should I say, global tv as well. Im proud that we as Pinoys have our own identity and uniqueness,good or bad,tha’s what makes us who we are.

  14. you know some pinoys here are OA(over-reacting) na, its a JOKE! funny too, and i assure you i am purely pinoy and do not live in US etc..
    um vic- not all pinoys are cranky, as i said some tend to get very OA!!!

    P.S. they should add one more about:
    -the use of tabo for bathing and washing
    -i don’t know how the pope will respond to mano po greetings

  15. I am filipino and proud of it.
    I also find this very funny. All you cranky filipino people out there,
    LIGHTEN UP. All races have been the target of cultural jokes. Let’s learn to laugh at ourselves, man.

  17. I don’t see what the fuss is all about. I’m Filipino and I don’t see these as offensive. After all, they are jokes. I mean, we laugh at his other Top 10 jokes, but when it comes to us, we get immature and mad. If we really are mature and confident about our nation and culture, we wouldn’t be angry. It’s a joke and be proud of the stereotypes; we do have Karaokes, we do send overweight balikbayan boxes, we do hang rosaries. Just laugh, and laughing is the best Pinoy trait we can share to the world.

  20. funny is funny…and that was hilarious!!!!
    bwahahhahhh!

    for those of you that find this “offensive”..
    here’s a quarter….go down to Robinsons and buy a sense of humor…..

  21. hilarious! now, the fun part: a filipino politician now mulling over how he can hog the limelight by saying that DL owes the philippines an apology for insulting its culture. that would be my number eleven reason! hintay lang tayo in the coming days, mga kabayan. hehehe.

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  26. Not really offensive, kinda funny actually. Astig nga eh…

    Dun sa mga naaasar: Asus! parang di nya ginagawa, in denial pa sya, there is nothing wrong with those traits naman diba? why not embrace the fact na ginagawa natin yun?

    Asteeg!

  27. Oh my God! XD I almost peed myself reading this list. My Tita Luz fits this description perfectly. Her basement is a Jesus shrine! She even has about two dozen folding chairs down there in front of her homemade altar. She says it’s because the neighbors sometimes come over and join her and my relatives down there. She has her own Mass in her basement! And yes, I do recall the HUGE silverware on the walls! XD The best part is that when we drove her from Maryland to Toronto, she brought three full trash bags with her filled with cookies and snacks and such! Oh dear Tita Luz! What would we do without her???

  29. The posting is very funny. I sent it to relatives in Dumaguete. They said they read the posting in the past. I was surprised that they knew about the site: FilamWords.com. But I think that they were more surprised that I knew about the website all the way over here in New York. “Ma, we are not that far… Travel time is only 26 hours! We miss you!” -R

  31. Guys! lighten up… it’s just a joke… I am pure pinay, born and raised in our lovely country PI…. I thought this is funny…
    BTW, this is NOT fake, I’ve seen the episode when Letterman aired this.
    Laugh…. Love…. Live!!! Don’t be “OA” (over acting) people!

  36. HAHAHA!!!! was looking for this all day, finally got to watch it and it was funny as HELL!!! Why do these so called PATRIOTIC PINOYS react to such little fuss about the truth of what and who we really are? Ayusin nyo muna mga baho nyo sa sarili bago kayo magreklamo e mas racist pa nga tayo kaysa sa mga ibang dayuhan jan…David Letterman has nothing to say Sorry about….Kayo dapat mag sorry sa kanya! This is a really GOOD joke from the show….

  38. This is a clean joke…why should anyone get insulted and offended when this is really true…these points are not made up because they are so true. Wow! Hold your horses, man…or baka naman you are too elite and ignore the fact that these points are very Filipino…I really do not see why some of you are upset about this? I would only be mad if the joke is not true or crosses the line…just like what happened with HOward STerns…His jokes were below par and that was not acceptable. But this one? OH, yeah….made my day.

  39. Filipinos love to make fun of each other so we shouldn’t be offended, they were all true and very funny! and I agree, David Letterman wouldn’t know all these if it wasn’t told by another Filipino. C’mon, let’s not make a big deal out of it cuz it’s not even nasty.. it’s just really us and it’s funny!

  42. Probably nitesoul wants to be US president.. hahahaha.. Sorry dude you got busted. Pambihira di kaya nakaka-insulto to.. This just means Filipinos are really now recognized globally. Proud to be Pinoy!!!

  44. Funny as hell! I love the guy who commented about the plastic wrappings on White House furniture! That’s golden! But i think that’s too much of an inside joke and most viewers won’t get it. Whoever wrote this from Letterman’s staff (if this indeed is true) should get some sort of medal.
    And to those who are butthurt, there is no other race i know of that are more RACIST than filipinos! We call Indians as Bumbay and make fun of their smell and we discriminate against black people because of their color. We make fun of foreigners who try their best to speak our language but obviously fail. If there’s anyone who should think twice about knowing who to insult, it is us.
    Enjoy the joke and laugh alongside those who point out our stereotypes because that’s what makes us who we are. Peace out!

  46. I searched for this ‘Top Ten reasons…..’ in website when someone told me about it. I am a 63 year old Filipino and have been in Australia for past 34 years. I am a proud Filipino inspite of being an Australian citizen. These are clean jokes and very true. There are heaps (I think it’s an Australian slang) more but I don’t think Americans and other foreigners will understand it. I can’t understand why some of my countrymen were offended. There are lot more jokes I received through email worst than these. Doesn’t apply to everyone though, but its true in most cases.

  48. This is not as funny as the youtube video of the gay filipino guys that were watching the miss universe contest a while back. That was fricking hilarious

  52. Yet another trollbait of “Pinoy Pride”. I live in the Philippines, watch foreign shows on cable TV and there’s no way this can be genuine. For one thing, Dave is on a live show with a live audience. If he DID make this a Top 10, the audience will get a big WTF on their faces on what a My Pinoy Van is (hell I’m a native and I don’t even know it), the Last Supper in the dining room an d I don’t think Dave can say “Balikbayan” without pronouncing it “BEY-LIK-BEYAN”.

  54. Definitely not David is the one who made this un-funny post and picture. Edited. It failed to delivered the essence of the message LITERALLY. But it did caught attention. To the one who made this, you made Filipinos as some laughing stock.

  55. as a filipino,this seems to be a very big insult so i’m so surprised to see comments from filipinos that this is entertaining. i think the person who wrote this statement is so threatened by how well filipinos perform in all aspects of life.well,that is my opinion and i am entitled to one.if you think this is funny…i just think you need to give it a second thought.

  57. this wasn’t shown at all. the production team of the show and david himself didn’t agree to read it on air as it would confuse the audience. the script was prepared in 2008… and was shelved the same day too. ((=

  58. Hey guys, we all have freedom of speech, thus we all are entitled to our own ideas and thoughts, we just have to respect each other in every aspect of each one’s individuality. Peace out!

  59. Hey guys, we all have freedom of speech, thus we all are entitled to our own ideas and thoughts, we just have to respect each other in every aspect of each one’s individuality.

  60. This actually cracked me up to no end. You have to admit all those are true. For those who are offended by this, relax. you`re probably just guilty of everything on that list but it’s all just in good fun. Every culture has some their share of hilarious customs. don`t be pikon.

  61. One thing you can’t deny about Filipinos,…is that a lot of us are ‘people-pleasers’. Even when we’re being made fun of. Do you guys really think they are laughing with us???..really? Here’s a scenario for you: You’re at work..on your lunch. You go to the break room or wherever you eat your food and 3 of your co-workers were talking and you overheard one of them say that a Filipino can’t be a president of US bec ‘State dinners’ do not allow ‘take home’,….and they all laugh. Do you run up to them and give them high fives and say “I’m proud to be a Filipino”. Of course not. BUT, since this was done as part of an entertainment program, then it was at the right place….only then it becomes humorous.
    Which is why I can understand why it rubs people the wrong way. It doesn’t really do anything for me because I’ve heard worse things said about Filipinos.
    Oh, and to those who are confused,…Pinoy pride does not mean going around telling everyone: ‘Yup,….. yup, …..that’s me! ….I do that, ….yup!!. and then laughing with them. Pinoy Pride is looking at them and saying “Why is that funny to you?!”

  63. Letterman has never been clever or funny and these “jokes” are typical of his mediocrity. The only reason I can figure why so many people like him is they are as brainless as he is.

  64. to some guys here.. quit mentioning letterman…. it isn’t true. he’s got nothing to do with this, he’s already famous even without this. if it is true, then why don’t they just post a clip of the actual letterman segment? search this on youtube and you get zip, nada.. anyway, i’m pinoy and this really is hilarious!! the facebook fanatics are still having a field day commenting, circulating, reposting this even as we speak..

  68. It’s really funny Mr. Letterman. I am a Filipino – American and I am thankful that Filipinos are being noticed in the US. It is painful to hear what you said about us but we’re glad and proud that we have this culture that shaped every Filipino to better our lives wherever we go.

    • I know, right? Filipinos are so defensive and sensitive! It’s a JOKE! I’m pure Filipino and I’m educated enough that I know sarcasm when I see it.

  72. Never to pinalabas sa Letteman’s show. Gawa-gawa lang to ng isang pinoy na walang magawa. But I admit it’s kind of funny and creative. Dyan magaling mga pinoy di ba? Sa kalokohan, Yung mga OA na balat sibuyas tigil nyo na ka-ekekan nyo. Truth hurts ba? =D

  73. Dude, we Filipinos make jokes about other countries like India and whatever so don’t hate on this funny joke cause if you do hate it, you might be affected. Peace!

  75. Funny! But joke or no joke, I am quite sure Mr. David Letterman did not write this. The lists are just too intimate a knowledge of the Filipino way of life. I don’t think Mr. Letterman would know such intimate details of the giant spoon and fork as well as the Last Supper.

  76. GEEZZZZ… I’m a filipino and I’m not offended by this… Either you admit it or not it’s somewhat true and it’s also called humour… VERY FUNNY….

  78. ITS FUNNY,IT RESEMBLE OUR BEING,IM SURE ONE OF OUR KABABAYAN HELP THIS TO BE CREATED,NOTHING TO GET ANGRY WITH,JUST SIMPLE FOR FUN AND JOKE,SORRY SOME OF US CANT TAKE THE LINE.CHEERS GUYS!!!HEHEHE..OMG!! MY WRINKLES!!!HAHAHAHA!!!!

  81. My Response to this: A Filipino American CAN and WILL be a US President. Here’s how. 10. Usually, in-laws and extended relatives are all in P.I. So there’s room. 9. Yes, there are enough parking spaces. Just park them all on the lawn. Solved. 8. No one is really intimidated by eating with fingers, it’s an inborn trait, and we secretly ALL want to do it. We eat Pizza with our hands, are people intimidated then? 7. The picture of the Last Supper will be in EVERY dining room. 6. Don’t lie. The walls are HUGE. Hence, there will be a giant wooden spoon and fork in EVERY DINING ROOM. 5. Secret Service will be Filipino only, and will fight with sticks, no need to train them to respond to “psst…hoy!” They already know it. 4 Again, SS will be Filipino. Duh. 3 There is totally budget allocation for karaoke in the specially built “Karaoke ROOM”, that will be used for contests and pfrizes. 2. Where is it written that State Dinners do not allow BAON!? When a Filipino becomes US president, baon will be mandatory! 1. There will be an Air Force One Balikbayan Box weighing scale, ensuring that there are no overweight boxes. Take that David Letterman. What now, fool?

  82. Fake I’m sure. First thing, the photo that accompanies the emai has a photo and on the sheet which holds the text, the perspective is skewed. Just look at the text. It’s a dead giveaway that it was photoshop’d. Plus, it’s nowhere on youtube. Anything even remotely Filipino-related is posted there. I highly doubt that if this top 10 truly aired that not a single person would have put it up there.

  89. I can’t believe some Filipinos are stupid enough to believe this is true. Letterman never said this, and even if he did, this joke would bomb because most Americans won’t even get the jokes….Like most Americans even know what a “Balikbayan Box” is. Of course, if you watch nothing but TFC all day, you probably think Vice President Biden speaks fluent Tagalog or something.

    Here’s the REAL (and sadder) reason why there will never be a Filipino American president:
    FILIPINOS DON’T VOTE.

  90. Please be advised that the content of this blog are used for educational and informational purposes only and cannot be constructed as legal and professional advise. Please consult a professional (such as a CPA, tax practitioner, financial advisor, attorney, etc.) for your specific financial or personal situation. We are not affiliated to Costco nor are getting paid by Costco for reviews on this site. See our terms, Disclosure and Disclaimer Pages.

  93. i hate filipinos who over react, very stereotypical. especially to lame-ass racist joke sites like this. i personally found it funny and true. im a pinoy and i love racist jokes….all kinds negro/redneck/coonass/abo/spic/chink/maori. its just a funny way of looking at the lighter side of the culture.

  94. geesh…lighten up, it’s funny. everyone eventually gets it on dave’s top ten list–you should feel like part of the family instead of getting all cranky-pants. all my many filipino-american friends–and i do mean MANY–thought it was hysterical. chill, fools.

  95. After living 15 Years in the Philippines i suggest an update:

    10. It is not allowed to use Piracy Software on Gouverment Laptops
    09. You can not bring a cheap Transistor radio with maximised Volume at the Office
    08. You can not have Cashadvance for the next 25 Years
    07. A President can not make “Absent” for unspecific time and with no explanation
    06. There is no Time to bother Neighbours 24/7 with talentless singing at the Videoke
    05. What you drop down and brake you have to pay – a sorry is not enough
    04. The Bathrooms in the white House dont provide a bucket with water and a pitcher – only “antique” Toiletpaper
    03. It is not allowed to pee at the Wall beside the Entrance
    02. You can not eat with the Fingers before you wash the Hands after using the CR
    01. It is not allowed to spit on the floor where ever you go

  97. LOL! super funny! anybody taking insults on these David Letterman top 10 reason portion serious is a bit of a dumb bumb.. they are nothing but sarcastic humour.
    Honestly, did he say antying that is untrue? Be HONEST people… all these points are CORRECT! besides, nobody really know for sure if ever did this one in his show, and even if he did… IT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!

  99. All you filipinos out there should be insulted! Letterman’s insult is racist, rude and hurts some filipino people. Even if it may sound funny, it insults people of the Philippines, and as a filipino, I feel insulted.

  102. I think that we should just learn from the joke instead of getting mad and complaining that he has no right to say that joke. Some of those are true. Hindi naman kung saan saan niya nakuha yung mga nakalagay yan, may basis naman siguro yan. So I don’t think we really should get mad and just take it as a lesson. Kung sino kasi ang pikon siya ang talo. We should be OPEN-MINDED. 🙂

  103. Everyone posting here and blaming David Letterman for this is a complete and utter illiterate idiot! Nobody actually read the author’s comment doubting that Letterman actually presented this on his show. And I’m certain none of you actually did any research confirming or denying this, either. Like stupid sheep, you simply follow, without question, what someone tells you. We Filipinos joke about ourselves and our culture on a daily basis and laugh about it! But the moment a non-Flip makes a joke it’s considered offensive no matter how accurate it might be? Hypocrites like you make me ashamed to call myself Filipino! I am so thankful to my parents for brining me to America and raising me away from a “colonial” mentality that is so prevalent in the Philippines. You should all be ashamed of yourselves!

    • uh number 11 should be we are so gullible. this is fake. LOL I cant believe how its so spread out like woah David Letterman this and that…theres no video of it.

  104. As a Fil-Am, I find this list funny. I believe the reason why the natives back home find ethnic jokes discriminatory because of political correctness, pride and being pussies for some reason. I do stereotype my nationality too and it’s self-deprecation. I mean, it’s not unique to Filipinos abroad. You just have to learn to admit about your nationality and the natives’ behavior. Who wants a pork barrel for the projects in Manila? Who wants to eat rice with our fingers? You know I don’t, hahaha.

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